Extra credit entry

Of course keeping with all my other posts I'm going to talk about my relationship with my husband.

Ahhh, lets see, in the interest of full disclosure and the fact that I will probably never see you again Prof Tucker (not that I didn't like your class I just don't need anymore com classes for my degree) I must say yes, I am in fact a home wrecker and I did steal my husband from his ex wife... oops.... but that's what makes this story so interesting and what makes our relationship so strong. Lets start from the beginning.....

I worked with my husband in the Army for 2 years before I even spoke to him, I didn't think he was attractive I really wanted nothing to do with him he didn't fit the description of the guys I dated. Not a dick, not in to partying and drinking not always the center of attention like myself and oh yeah he was married. We deployed together and worked together daily but never a word outside of mission planning and talking to each other as one flight instructor to the other on missions. After 2 years of this our unit had a tactical dinning in. Its where all the people in the unit get super drunk and party in the hanger and its actually required that you be there... kind of a unit team building thing and oh by the way you can not bring your family, it is strictly people from the unit. For some reason on this day perhaps it was the amount of liquor we had both consumed but out of the blue i walked up to him and whispered in his ear, I know what you and my room mate did. (they had made out like a year earlier on deployment and for some reason i felt like this of all things was a good conversation starter again must have been from the drinking lol). The night progressed and we were inseparable we went everywhere together and eventually ended up hooking up where else but the conference room table in the mission planning room where we faced each other every day for work. After that we were done, we didn't talk except for work again that is until his wife decided she thought we were sleeping together (we were not) he was married I was married we chalked it up to being drunk. She made a huge stink about it and put both of us threw hell and finally our unit commander gave in and just to get her off his back gave us both Article 15's and put us on extra duty together... Basically every day after work and on the weekend he and I had to work ALONE TOGETHER from 5 pm till 10 pm in an empty office cleaning and painting and of course you know me i had to get wine and liquor involved in it. These 2 weeks of extra duty is really where our relationship started to grow we found out so much about each other and really started to like each other. (looks like his whiny wife shot her self in the foot) Soon after, about 2 weeks he moved out of his ex wives house and about a month prior to that my husband and I separated and he pretty much disappeared (noticed we did not get divorced). After he moved out they started their divorce proceeding and less then a month after that he was moved in to my house (also still married).

About 4 months later I had to move to DC for my new unit and he thought we would be done and that he was never going to see me again, instead he ended up moving up here as soon as he got out of the army and between that time combined we made 21 trips to and from El Paso and DC. Shortly after he moved in we got engaged and then got pregnant and married and had our first child, then 6 months after the first we got pregnant with a 2nd which ended in a miscarriage then the following month I got pregnant again with our 2nd child. After the second was born that's when things really went down hill. I had a horrible bout with Post Partum Depression but didn't realize that was what was wrong until I had basically ruined my marriage by basically having an affair with someone else even tho it was only like a mental affair because I felt like I wasn't getting what I wanted from my husband mentally. After all that happened that is where i picked up on my previous post about having a talk with him and starting from scratch with him and getting to know each other all over again.

There were so many things in our relationship that have just made it stronger, its the adage of what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. From the rocky questionable way our whole relationship started to the fact even when his ex wife was trying to get us in trouble and instead of giving in we kept on dating to having a baby when we had only been married 4 months even the miscarriage and then of course the affair made us stronger. It made me realize that no matter what happens I can make it threw it with my husband by my side and that he loves me more then I could ever imagine someone loving me. I guess if I had to do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing even with all the horrible pain and suffering we went threw it has made our relationship what it is today and with out all those things we worked threw pretty much since day one who knows if we would have made it.

#5

The interaction I am writing about is with my husband. Over the last year we have had some serious, SERIOUS issues... ( i think you get the pictuer) anyways after everything happend and I came clean about everything we had it out and then once the crying was over we sat down outside next to the pool and just talked. We talked about everything, life, our kids, our pasts our families, school, work, the grass and trees EVERYTHING... This was the real turning point in our realitionship even tho we have been married for 4 years tomorrow. It was like getting to know each other all over and like starting fresh and saying this is it, we are forgetting about all the bad stuff and everything that we had done and started a new together. It was from that talk that my parents ended up moving in with us and that I quit my job less then a week later to stay home with our kids. Getting to know my husband and having a real talk with him after so long of shutting each other out, or rather me shutting him out and doing my own thing helped me understand what he was thinking and helped me understand what I had been thinking and made everything clear for me.

#4

The person I chose to write about was Gigi. This is my life to a "T" during some periods before I got married. I would obsess about a guy calling me back. I had a history of sleeping with guys just because I thought it would get them to like me but all along I still played it like everything is ok everything is great I don't need him to call me back but inside I was going crazy wondering why he wasn't calling or at least "myspacing me/ICQ'ing" (yes I'm old ok, myspace was still cool and so was ICQ when I was doing this lol) I would carry my phone around with me constantly just waiting no matter what I was doing it was crazy. Major difference between her and I, she got with the "friend" no me... on no, i never got the friend that i wanted.... I think Gigi just needed to relax a little, I think when you give off that desperate vibe guys sense it and realize hey she will just sleep with me and that's good enough for them. Once I grew up a little bit and realized i didn't need a guy and became more confident in myself guy like flocked to me lol.. well maybe not flocked but you get the picture. I became a better communicator and everything and Gigi needed to get that done and once she did her life evened out and she ended up getting what she wanted.

Entry #3

Currently I am not really "in" a conflict but being married I am in an ongoing conflict. :) My husband and I have 1 thing that we are always having an issue with... his ex wife.... I have issues with his child support (its to much and he won't fight it) I have issues with him never talking to me about her (she got married, divorced and re-married and I found out from his daughter after the fact) and I have issues with her because she is a heinous, evil, bitch and he never stands up to her when she is telling their daughter horrible things about me (I'm a home wrecker, I'm the reason she doesn't have a daddy anymore, oh and I'm a whore, AWESOME!) Anyways, my husband is the classic avoider in arguments, he would just as soon never even talk about it... whatever "it" is. I on the other hand have to argue, its in my blood, i find myself just looking for things to say to him to get him to tell me about whats going on with his ex wife and his daughter with out saying it directly. I know it will always bring up a fight and I can't help it, i just have to do it.. I'm a very competitive person by nature and always must win. I can see why my husband avoids arguments with me or just walks away from them and "lets" me win. In the future when i really do want to know about his ex wife and daughter, I'll just ask (preferably after a few drinks) and I'll ask nicely and not try and start a fight. The few times I have actually taken the time to start a conversation with my husband about them and then gradually asked questions instead of bombarding him with a crazy off the wall question out of the blue it works much better.

My movie for my paper due on Thursday

The movie I will be doing my paper on is the Notebook. I think there is a lot of good aspects of communication and conflict in the movie.